I want to stop missing you.  I want to stop remembering you.  Everyday you have been gone feels like hell.  I have no idea when it was the last time I talked to you because it feels like months ago.  But everyday I go without talking to you, it's like I need you that much more.  Perhaps absence makes the heart grow fonder?  Perhaps my worst nightmare came true … I lost you.  I know I shouldn't like you this much, it's just not right.  But if it feels so good, how could it be wrong?  And it feels like there is a purpose behind everything I feel, it feels like someone is giving me hints of never giving up hope.  Every time I turn on the radio, Jimmy Eats World is on, Nirvana is on, I see a million things a day that reminds me of you.  And it has gotten to a point where I plead with my "god".  I won't even go into that.

I dream about you all the time, I think about you even more.  Before I knew you, everything was fine.  Everyday was like the same.  But now, without you, everyday feels like torture.  It's all because I fell in love with you.  I never fall in love, but I so easily fell in love with you.  I find myself picking up a pen and trying to write you something, try to write the feelings I feel.  But nothing ever comes out good enough.  I only show you part of something I wrote because it's the theme of this web page;

"… I couldn't help it
I even fought her
Until I felt too stupid
I can't believe it
I fell in love
With the daughter of cupid…"

That's what you are to me, the daughter of cupid.  I wish I could find one thing in you that I didn't like, one thing I could focus on.  But you seemed so perfect.  This is not fair.  It's like showing a blind man a meadow of flowers but only for a second.  Then you make him blind again.  Sure he will remember those flowers forever, but he will always wish to have another second to see.  He will know everything he's missing.  I know some of what I'm missing with you, and I know there is so much more about you I may never get to see.  I would give everything I ever had for one thing in return - to make sure you're ok.

I could tell you that I love you because all those feelings are there.  But it looks like I won't have the time to be able to say those words.  I would do anything for you and it's so frustrating knowing that there's nothing in this world I can do to bring you back.  This is so unfair..

Everyday I talked to you felt like  beautiful sunset, now I feel blind.